


No One Puts Baby In A Corner

by murderofonerose (atmilliways)



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Pre-Klok, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 12:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atmilliways/pseuds/murderofonerose
Summary: Then it came out — at some point after their new manager had tracked down Toki’s birth certificate and obtained things like a work visa and valid passport on his behalf — that he was born in late March. Which would have been fine. Except… Nathan had been born in May.Of the same year.





	No One Puts Baby In A Corner

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a different pairing, but it, ah… took a turn. In other news, Skwisgaar is a sex addict and no one is surprised.

When Toki first joined the band, they all figured he was the youngest out of all five of them. He was scrawny, kind of high-voiced, and relentlessly optimistic. It was the natural assumption. Even Toki had thought that.    
  
Then it came out — at some point after their new manager had tracked down Toki’s birth certificate and obtained things like a work visa and valid passport on his behalf — that he was born in late March. Which would have been fine. Except… Nathan had been born in May.    
  
Of the same year.    
  
The jokes were relentless, and there wasn’t really anywhere he could go in their shitty shared apartment to escape them.    
  
_ Doesch baby want hisch bottle? _ __   
__   
_ Mine eyes ams older then yours, can you reads what dats say to me? _ __   
__   
_ Dood, I’m gonna have ta see some ID before I letcha have this.  _ __   
__   
_ Yous, kid! Gets off my lawn! _ __   
__   
_ You’re the youngescht, you get up and do it.  _ __   
__   
_ So, whens am you olds enough to drink legalies? _ __   
__   
_ Jest call me Grandpa! ... Wait, no, don’t do theat. I’m drunk. ... Sonny.  _ __   
  
Nathan hadn’t wanted to strangle a group of guys to death more since he’d made the varsity football team at fourteen and the older boys had singled him out for hazing. And the most unfair part of it all was that when he confronted Offdensen — whose fault all of this  _ obviously _ was — in his swanky corner office in the nice part of the business district, the guy wouldn’t let him throttle so much as one of the bastards.    
  
“We, ah, can’t afford to miss any performances this quarter,” Charles explained patiently, “and, well, giving any of your bandmates a beating might injure their arms or hands, rendering them unable to play. Crystal Mountain won’t appreciate their newest signed band having to postpone their first official tour.”   
  
Nathan growled in frustration.    
  
Charles raised an eyebrow. “I could... speak to the rest of the guys on your behalf, if you want.”   
  
“No! That’ll just make it worse.” Nathan slouched angrily into one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Fuck. Who  _ cares _ if I’m younger than Toki? It’s only by a month and a half, and I’ve done way more shit than that fucktard. Did you know we had to explain what sex was to him a couple weeks ago? He didn’t even  _ know _ .”   
  
“I see.” Pausing only to jot down a note for later on a post-it, Charles folded his hands and regarded the frontman seriously. Which Nathan appreciated, because Charles wasn’t giving him any crap or just saying something dismissive and waving him off so he could get more work done. “Perhaps it would help to brainstorm some, ah, ways you might demonstrate that being the youngest doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken seriously.”   
  
Nathan blinked. “Uh... okay. Well... I’m the leader, right? Dethklok is my band.”   
  
“Yes, that’s one point,” Charles said. “But that might be a little on the abstract side. Best to play to your strengths, Nathan.”    
  
“You just told me I couldn’t punch or tackle anybody!”   
  
“First of all, not exactly. I told you not to punch and tackle your band mates in order to facilitate solving this particular problem, at least for now.” Charles inclined his head just a bit. “Secondly, that would be too easy. You are by far in the best physical condition out of anyone in Dethklok — although remind me to have a conversation with you about the results from your most recent liver panel, once this has been resolved.”   
  
Maybe it was shallow, but Nathan perked up a little at the compliment, while at the same time tuning out that bit about his liver completely. “You think so?”   
  
Charles nodded and steepled his fingers. “Absolutely. Toki is probably the next strongest, but he’s still recovering from the effects of malnutrition and a few other downsides of living on the streets.”   
  
Nathan found himself nodding in agreement. “Yeah, he keeps complaining about those rabies shots. I mean, it’s just a shot, why does he have to be such a pussy about it? I wish I were at risk for rabies, fucking brutal...”    
  
“Yes, well.” Charles gave him a perfunctory smile. “I wouldn’t know about that. But I hope this little chat has helped and that, ah, we should be able to stay on schedule for the upcoming tour?”   
  
It was pretty clear after that that Charles had work he wanted to get done, so Nathan left. He walked back to the apartment, hands in his pockets, idly mulling over some ideas for a song about getting bitten by a bat and turning into a rabid vampire while knowing he probably wouldn’t do anything with it.    
  
What Charles had said in his office had made sense to Nathan, at the time. The longer he walked, though, the more dissatisfied he felt. Advice was all well and good, and getting compliments on his physical prowess was a decent bonus, but it didn’t actually settle anything. So he couldn’t actually hurt any of the guys — that was fine, he could figure out some way around that. He just had to beat them at  _ something _ . Maybe even just one of them.    
  
... Toki. Toki was new, the weak link. All Nathan had to do was prove  _ he _ was the crybaby. Once was probably all it would take to cement that reputation with the rest of the guys forever.    
  
When he finally reached the apartment, he was disappointed to see that the van was gone. They’d pooled their money, back before they’d really had any, and bought one of those white vans that only perverts owned — there had been a token effort to repaint the thing black, except they’d put Murderface in charge of getting paint and he’d gotten the wrong kind, so it looked even shittier but in a dull, lumpy kind of way. But the thing still ran, on a good day, and getting it to start usually meant celebrating with a bar crawl. Which was kind of a bummer to be left out of, but Nathan figured that at least it gave him more time to come up with a plan to take Toki down a notch. Maybe if he started scribbling down ideas in his trust notebook, something good would jump out at him.    
  
When he let himself into the dingy three-bedroom, he heard something. A soft, rhythmic squeaking. Heavy breathing... Two sets of heavy breathing.    
  
Nathan rolled his eyes in annoyance. It wasn’t exactly unusual for Skwisgaar to stay home and invite a skank (or three) over for some fun while the rest of them were out, but he and Nathan shared a room. He knew from experience that whatever the guy had going on in there could take hours. Better to just barge in with his eyes screwed mostly closed to avoid seeing anything that might scar him for life, get his notebook, and get the the hell out.    
  
Ideally without tripping over any discarded granny panties like last time.  _ Ugh _ . Or maybe it would be someone young and actually still hot… It was a toss-up, really. You never knew with Skwisgaar.   
  
He put one hand on the doorknob, the other over his eyes, and bellowed, “Skwisgaar, I’m coming in!”   
  
Three things happened immediately.    
  
Nathan pushed the door open with a little too much emphasis, sending it against the adjoining wall with a bang. It bounced back and he caught it with both hands to keep from getting smacked in the face.    
  
Skwisgaar, with a yell of “WAITS,” tried to jump up and lunge for the door, but got his feet tangled in the blanket. He ended up rolling off the bed and landing on the floor with a hard thud.    
  
Toki shrieked and grabbed for a pillow to hide his naked chest.    
  
For a moment, there was nothing but deep, awkward silence as Skwisgaar picked himself up and sat on the edge of the bed with the blanket covering his lap.    
  
“What...” Nathan looked back and forth between the two guitarists, before finally settling his glare on the lead. “... the FUCK, Skwisgaar! What did I fucking tell you? No screwing anyone who’s in the band! That’s how your last  _ seven bands _ ended up breaking up!”   
  
“Knowds I shouldn’t had tells you dat,” the Swede grumbled under his breath.    
  
“And you!” Nathan jabbed an accusatory finger in Toki’s direction. “What the hell are you doing, covering yourself up like a damn girl? You don’t have tits!”   
  
“Sorries,” Toki squeaked. He did not release his death grip on the pillow, or lower it even slightly.    
  
Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose, unconsciously mimicking something his mother had always done whenever she was particularly exasperated with him. “And god, don’t even get me started on how fucking gay this is. This is really going to fuck with the band dynamics.”   
  
“Pft, no it won’ts,” Skwisgaar said dismissively. “We’ve already beens fucking for a weeks and none of yous jackoffs notice, no big deals. Besides—” He smirked. “—I don’ts remembers no complaints to suckings yous off dat one times.”   
  
Toki’s eyes widened even further, and he stared at the frontman with a cross between nervous solidarity and mild jealousy. Through the roar of blood rushing to his face, Nathan wondered if it was possible to open your eyes so wide that your eyeballs just fell right out of their sockets.    
  
“That’s... different,” he mumbled. “We were both really drunk, so it didn’t count. And... I didn’t realize you remembered. That.” Just thinking about it, to his continued embarrassment, sent some of his blood rushing south as well. Drunk or not, that had been a pretty good night.    
  
“Well I does, so whats?” Skwisgaar shrugged, his long blond hair clinging slightly to his sweaty skin. Whatever he and Toki had been doing before Nathan had barged in, he must’ve been really into it. “You had never hads your cock sucks by a guy, and little Tokis here never hads sex with anothers porsons evers. Now you both has. No big deals, you don’t gots to be a bigs baby abouts it.”   
  
The word  _ baby _ made Nathan’s eye twitch, and he was one hundred percent sure that was intentional. Part of that insight was gut instinct; the rest was the way Skwisgaar licked his plush lips and winked lasciviously. Nathan knew he was being manipulated, but it was working anyway. By the time he kicked the door closed behind him he already had his sleeveless t-shirt over his head and onto the floor.    
  
“Anyones here ever dones de threesome befores?” Skwisgaar asked with a shit-eating grin. “Noes? Well, pays attentions, school ams in session—”   
  
Nathan reached the older man’s bed and shoved him down flat on his back, landing across Toki’s lap. That took care of the leer. He straddled Skwisgaar’s hips and barely had to press down to feel his arousal pushing up beneath the blankets.    
  
Toki must have seen it too, because he let out a gasp and followed Nathan’s lead, grabbing for Skwisgaar’s wrists to pin his hands above his head. The younger guitarist looked up at Nathan with an earnest puppy dog look. He really just wanted to fit in and be accepted. Nathan, flushed with pleasure at coming out on top in this situation both literally and figuratively, magnanimously gave him a nod of approval before turning the majority of his attention back to the struggling Swede.    
  
“You’re not in charge here, Skwisgaar,” Nathan growled, putting more of his weight on him to prevent any real squirming around. He was starting to regret not taking his jeans off yet — what little movement the trapped guitarist could manage was targeted and stimulating — but there would be time for that soon. Right now he had a point to prove.    
  
In fact...    
  
_ He’s the weak link,  _ Nathan realized with a feral, triumphant grin. Skwisgaar, not Toki. Of course! Offdensen had even said it, Toki would probably be among the strongest of all of them once the malnutrition wore off. Murderface was borderline scrawny but the guy bounced back from most things like a rubber ball and always had a knife on him, and Pickles was small but scrappy, and claimed to know twenty-two different ways to kill a man with a broken bottle. But Skwisgaar, his default approach to life was fucking. His libido was legendary, but it was also his weak spot. Anyone who’d ever been within fifty feet of him on the rare occasion a girl took off and left him with blue balls knew that. Making him submit would get him and Toki both to shut up about the whole baby thing, and the other two guys would get bored faster if they were the only ones making the jokes.    
  
Teeth still bared, Nathan leaned down and nipped at the pale skin connecting Skwisgaar’s neck and shoulder. He felt Skwisgaar suck in a sharp breath under him and, beneath that, Toki’s legs tensing. The kid was wound so tight that, Nathan realized belatedly, his erection was pretty much right in their faces... Time to see how far this situation could be pushed.    
  
Skwisgaar’s eyes widened as Nathan grabbed his chin between one thumb and forefinger. That other time they’d messed around, it hadn’t been anything more than straight-to-business pleasure, and he could tell Skwisgaar was wondering if some sort of kiss was about to happen. It was tempting — just to mess with him, of course,  _ of course _ , what kind of guy would Nathan be if he admitted to himself that kissing was more than just a means to get ladies to agree to have sex — but no. He turned the blond’s mouth towards Toki and gruffly ordered, “Suck it.” And although Skwisgaar rolled his eyes, his pupils dilated at the command, and he did as he was told. Toki’s head hit the shitty plywood headboard with a thunk.    
  
_ Fuck _ , Nathan thought as he watched Skwisgaar go to town, rolling into the task with gusto. He really, really wishing he’d taken his jeans off earlier. Last time he hadn’t exactly been in a position to, you know,  __ watch , but he remembered how good those lips had felt. 

Nathan scrambled back up onto his knees on the edge of the bed and yanked on his zipper so hard it nearly came off, but holy shit it was a relief. For a moment he got lost in just watching and just palming himself through the front of his tented boxers, but then Toki whimpered.  _ What a baby _ , Nathan thought, and that reminded him of the increasingly forgettable point of all this. He scrambled off the bed to shuck both his pants and boxers in one go, and sat next to Toki at the head of the bed. Skwisgaar was kind of in the way, but Nathan just threw his legs over the guy and used his bony-ass hip as a leg rest. Then he grabbed the rhythm guitarist’s hand and shoved it towards his cock. 

The hand gripped, and Nathan groaned. In this, it seemed, Toki needed little to no instruction, presumably because he’d been practicing this particular activity on himself for longer than he’d known what to call it. No willing to be outdone, a second later Skwisgaar’s hand was there too, taking over any of Nathan’s length that needed attention. The frontman even couldn’t muster any shits to give when Toki’s head thumped down on his shoulder, mouth turning wetly against his skin to muffle the squeaky little sounds that Skwisgaar was wringing out of him, or when Skwisgaar started grinding against the backs of his thighs. It felt too good, too warm, too temporary to bother with second thoughts, and he really  _ hadn’t _ ever had a threesome before. 

Maybe this was something to look into doing more often... With, uh, chicks, of course. Obviously.    
  
It didn’t take long after that. Toki came with a choked cry into Nathan’s hair, his grip spasming just right to bring Nathan to the edge but disengaging as he slumped bonelessly in the other direction. Nathan growled and groped blindly until he found a handful of blonde hair and tugged Skwisgaar’s obliging mouth over to finish. He felt immensely pleased with himself for managing to turn an otherwise aggravating day around, with very little resistance or backtalk from the other two men. That was real leadership. Nathan’s last thought before he went over the edge was that if anyone was a big gay baby it was probably Skwisgaar, for being so into sucking cock.    
  
And for swallowing both times.    
  
And getting off to it into his own hand.    
  
Nathan waited a few minutes to get his breath back, then languorously got to his feet. He surveyed the battlefield of tangled sheets, strewn pillows, and sweaty, limp guitarists with a warm glow of dominance and superiority, then left without comments to take a shower.    
  
It wasn’t until he was under the hot spray and working some 2-in-1 shampoo into his hair that he realized, none of them had the excuse of alcohol to hide behind. He’d been basically sober — at least, as sober as anyone who’s breakfast had consisted of beer and potato chips could be — and he hadn’t smelled anything particularly strong on Skwisgaar or Toki’s breaths. So what did that mean? Shit, what if it happened again?   
  
After a moment of silent contemplation, Nathan shrugged and continued washing. As far as he was concerned, his problem was solved. Everyone would still be able to play for the tour, so Offdensen would be pleased, even though this probably hadn’t been what he’d had in mind when advising Nathan to use strength to his advantage. And however things went from this point, he sure as hell wasn't going to let it fuck up his band.

**Author's Note:**

> In other other news, Nathan probably secretly really enjoys kissing. Heh. Anyway, leave suggestions/prompts in the comments if you want more of this threeway pairing and I'll see what I can do.


End file.
